5 Things You or The Nurturer in Your Life Need(s) Right Now
YOU deserve to be nurtured--deeply and well.
I recently saw an article going viral on social media. Folks were tagging their significant others--I imagine to alert them, to affirm to their friends, perhaps to share in solidarity…
The article’s chief complaint? Errand-running is not self-care.
I mostly agree! (Sometimes clearing things off your to-do list helps to make room and having time to be alone can definitely be a step in the right direction.)
I think that article misses an important opportunity though to talk about what DOES count as really good, deep and effective self-care--or “inner and outer being nurturing”--and what it can look like in your real life, every day.
So I’m here to offer you real solutions.
First step? Mindset: “You’re in the driver’s seat.”
One of my core mantras is “it begins with you”-- you’re responsible for taking care of yourself.
My vision is for you to deeply know and to hold that you can decide to nurture yourself.
I can almost feel you rolling your eyes and pushing that truth away. Still-- you always have at least one choice. Your life is yours.
What is your relationship to the driver’s seat? Do you feel like you’re in it?
You can both learn yourself and also implement the ways to care well and deeply for YOU, as an ongoing practice. No matter what is in your path or surrounding you at this time or in this moment, I believe that you can do this.
I know-- I speak from experience--both living it and also bearing witness to it alongside those I work with as clients.
Here are 5 Things You or The Nurturer in Your Life Need(s) Right Now that will actually leave you(them) feeling RESTORED on the other side of it.
1. Protected time for you to rest and Counter sensory overload:
blocked out space to not be called upon,
blocked out space to not be touched,
space to rest your ears-- perhaps building in “quiet time” or maybe even investing in some noise canceling headphones to subtly dull a level of sound in your atmosphere
space in your home where the visuals don’t induce stress by--focus on simple things like making your bed or straightening up the space immediately surrounding you
time to rest your voice--no speaking, yelling, teaching, coaching, etc
space and time to release energy and move in a dynamic way by-- protect the space for you to take a run, find a workout flow on YouTube or, invest in an exercise experience to release energy on something like coretocoeur.com
permission granted to yourself to take a nap. (nurturers need sleep too!)
2. Nourishment:
a prepared a list of foods you actually want to eat
grab and go snacks on deck (ex. nuts, granola bars, trail mix, hard boiled eggs in the refrigerator, fresh fruits that you love, etc)
a meal you prepare for yourself that you’ve been craving
a meal you order in for yourself or for your family (support local businesses if you can.)
3. Reclaimed thought space & room to hear yourself think:
talk with your kids to let them know when you’re at capacity by saying-- “Can you hold that thought for me, so that it's in your thought space and I can have my thought space? I can’t hold it in my thought space right now.”
errands taken off your plate or delegated to other family members, friends or paid pros so they still get done
time with a paid professional, like a therapist or coach (take me for instance, I offer a full solution to support nurturers who are struggling to take good care of themselves right now)
inquire with a trusted friend to see if you can share what's on your mind with them by asking, “Do you have capacity to listen/help me hold this right now?”
4. Acknowledgement, appreciation & affirmation:
give yourself top-shelf compliments as you look in the mirror or stand in the shower (ex. “I acknowledge you for __”, “I really appreciate the way you __”, “Thank you for__”, “You’re really good at__”)
slowly shift the culture of your home to be more verbally affirming by modeling this behavior, “getting caught” saying words of affirmation to yourself and to others.
5. Pleasure:
note what you enjoy both sensually & sexually
create a list of things that positively engage your senses (ex. favorite books, podcasts, shows, scents, tastes, textures)
laugh & keep a list of things that make you laugh
eat your favorite foods, snacks, or deserts (in moderation if you can)
touch & care for your physical body (ex. self-massage or a safe massage therapy service from someone else, self-hugs, essential oils, candles, throw blankets)
orgasms (especially learning how to have more expansive pleasure on your terms)
dance to music you love
keep a literal list of things that bring you joy and use it as a resource--especially when you need an uplift (don’t forget your childhood favorites!)
I’d love to know which of these are your favorites or which one(s) resonated the most! Feel free to reach out and tell me about your experience with self and inner-being care as a nurturer. I hope you have a great month!