CASE STUDY | Bernice

How Empowered People™ at City of Promise helped “Bernice” (name changed to protect privacy) change the way she related to her daughter, herself and her community.

“Bernice”, a resident of Hardy Drive, was part of one of the cohorts of Empowered People™ at the Dream Builders program through City of Promise in Charlottesville, VA which featured customized programming based on Yolonda’s Empowered and Peaceful Parenting curriculum. 

“Bernice” lives with ADHD and was very open in early sessions about how challenging it is for her to process information in the same way as the others. 

“I’ve never met another black woman like Yolonda. I’ve been to therapy, I’ve been to church groups and women’s groups. I’ve never experienced anything like this. I want to go everywhere she goes and I want my daughters and co-workers to be able to hear her. What we are learning here is just so important and valuable for everyday life.” 

“Bernice”’s Challenge: 

One of the biggest challenges “Bernice” named for herself was keeping calm so she could think more clearly more often. She enthusiastically shared this “win” during a group meeting: Upon seeing a woman that many of the other group participants seemed to know well walking down the sidewalk towards her home while she was sitting in her car, Bernice’s children playing in their yard nearby, she instantly discerned by the way she was walking that the approaching woman was looking for trouble. The woman began talking to her daughter (who was in her own front yard) before Bernice could get between them. 

“Bernice”’s Solution: 

As “Bernice” was watching all of this unfold, she said that she thought to herself of the things that she had to lose, “ain’ no way I’ma sit in Ms Yolonda’s class for all these weeks and just throw all’at time away.” She shared that she thought of what she was working on in her career, how she needed to be around for her kids and envisioned how she wanted to react to the angry woman who had come to her yard for trouble. She found herself able to decide in those moments that there wasn’t going to be any unnecessary fighting and confrontation and she didn’t engage with her. 

As the woman was going off and doing all the things that she was doing, “Bernice” went and placed her body between the woman and her daughter. She placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder and told her daughter to look her in her eyes. Then she said she told her to “go inside the house,” calmly reassuring her, “you’re okay.” 

She then turned toward the woman who was trespassing in her yard and calmly held her ground, stating there would not be a conversation at this time and in this way. 

“Bernice”’s Results:

The community managers and daughter witnessed everything that happened and she became an example to everyone (and to herself!) of what it can look like to do something different than what you are used to doing, deciding not to go after that woman and dig into her with the ways that she could have.